Sherpa, Your Must Have Fall Fashion
I’m convinced there is some mom handbook someone at the hospital forgot to give me. Maybe it was a social experiment? “Let’s give everyone else this information except this one girl who already looks like a bit of mess… it will be funny to see what happens”. Regardless of the why, the fact is there are certain things I cannot for the life of me figure out.
Let’s talk Halloween, shall we?
Getting my people to take a cute photo where they all are smiling and looking is hard enough. And by hard enough I mean not possible. So how in the world are you getting your people to wear family themed costumes? And the themes are so impressive. I mean really, what 5-year-old willing wants to dress up as a character from Top Gun? Did I miss this lesson? Are we supposed to be showing our kids 80’s films right before Halloween? I’m so confused. The one year, bless us, we tried to do this a fight broke out over who would be Elsa and we ended up with two Elsa’s and a baby girl dressed in an Olaf outfit. The picture I posted looked like something out of a crime magazine while everyone else apparently had a professional photographer accompany them on their trick or treating route… I’m clearly uninformed.
The year after we experienced double Elsa’s we ditched the family theme in hopes of a better outcome… the outcome was not better.
The other thing I cannot figure out is Sherpa. Like, really? Why?
Four years ago, I was elated to find a sale on 3 Columbia Sherpa jackets in the exact sizes I needed. My girls were going to look super cute and picture perfect ready at any given moment. Only… that’s the opposite of what actually happened. Looking back, I see where I went wrong. Perhaps it was ignorant of me to think my girls could play outside in a jacket, presumably made for outside, and take a picture. How silly I was.
They took those things to school, to the pumpkin patch, to the woods behind our house; they ran, they skipped, they happily tossed leaves and mulch about… and when they were finished they looked like woolly mammoths instead of well-dressed children with an indoor dwelling space. Turns out Sherpa is a magnet for… well… really everything, and looks in real life unlike any catalog photo I have ever seen.
I called my friend Megan.
“Megan, what do I do with this? I’m throwing it away.”
“Oh no, no. I just pick it out at night, while I watch TV after the kids go to bed, it’s therapeutic.”
“I’m not doing that… and honestly, right now I’m not even sure why we are friends.”
For all of you calling this the must have fall fashion… I’m calling you liars.
I pick it out at night? Times 4 kids? Absolutely not. No thank you. Stick a needle in my eye and throw me into oncoming traffic, no way.
I am constantly five steps behind on a to do list I never finish; Sherpa picking does not need to be added.
When Fall hit I got no less than 6,789 emails about the new must have Sherpa jackets. Nice try. Either we are all victims of gaslighting or this is a chapter of that book I just never got. Until I figure it out I have some jackets I am happy to pass on to someone else with more time than me.